“If you can learn to forgive yourself for everything that came before this very moment, then you can move forward without guilt or judgment.”
Hello fellow promoters of love, my name is Rebecca Dolber. I’m a native Long Islander and owner of R.E.D., a design firm that handcrafts one-of-a-kind pieces of jewelry that tell your story. The process is simple; sit down with me, tell me about yourself and the things that matter to you. What do you love? What have you overcome? What’s your mantra and where do you find inspiration? Through the careful combination of charms, stones, symbols and words, we work together to create something meaningful to accompany you through life’s journeys. I promote love through this process, as well as in the small, everyday ways like being a good partner, daughter, sister, neighbor, friend, and momma to my canine baby, Luca Bean.
- What do you do for work and how do you feel like it is making a difference in the world? I’m a designer and a business owner. I listen to people and transform what they express into one-of-a-kind pieces of jewelry. The importance of the work is multifaceted. In terms of the customer, it provides a place for people to tell their story, own their desires, and say out loud what’s important to them. They are actively participating in the design process which is both cathartic and empowering—and in the end, they take home a piece of jewelry that is meaningful, imbued with all the things that matter to them. As the work pertains to me, it’s important because I’m answering a calling and not forcing myself into a box I wasn’t meant to fill. I think it’s very easy to get caught up in “should haves” and “have to’s” and as a result, forget that we are ALL blessed with unique gifts that are meant to be explored. No one person’s work is more important than another’s. Just as Steph personifies, what matters is that you are pushing the boundaries of your potential; you do that by following the path of your heart’s desire.
- What do you think about the progress we’ve made as a country in regards to the LGBT community/marriage equality? Just recently, my pal’s 83-year-old great aunt passed away. She lived below her in a family-owned brownstone in Queens—typical for many old school New Yorkers. Aunt Nancy never married and as far as her family knew, never showed any interest in romantic relationships. After she died, we were cleaning out her apartment and came across a few tiny black and white photos of her and a group of lady-friends. The photos were from the early 40’s and showed them playfully posing on a NYC rooftop. As we flipped through, they started to get more and more provocative, ultimately revealing that these women weren’t just friends; they were lesbians. I think about those photos a lot and what they represent: the excitement of taking them, the fear in getting them developed, the secrecy of hiding them in a box in the back of a closet. Intellectually, I always knew I was lucky to be born when I was born. But finding these pictures really drove that gratitude home and put the LGBT movement into a perspective I didn’t have previously.
- Why did you decide to join the Promote Love Movement/why do you think it’s important in this world? I joined the movement because I believe in Steph Grant. These days, there are a lot of different groups you can be a part of, but when Steph launched the Promote Love Movement, I knew it was something I could get on-board with—it was a simple message from a special person. Steph and I were introduced by a mutual friend online because she knew we had a lot in common. When I saw her photographs, I knew she was the person I needed to shoot a look-book of my jewelry. I picked her up from JFK on a Thursday night and we spent the whole weekend together shooting pictures, playing music around a campfire and talking about art, passion and love. We also may have convinced half a dozen people to go skinny-dipping with us in the Great South Bay at midnight… Though our actual time spent together boils down to a few hours, you know a soul sister when you meet one. I believe in her and as such, I believe in the Promote Love Movement.
- What is one thing someone did for you at some point in your life that you’ll never forget…that made your day/made you feel loved? I’m lucky to have so many examples of this, currently with my partner, Sarah, and my family and friends, but I would say the first time I remember feeling loved openly and unabashedly was when my grandparents took me to Bermuda. It was the summer before third grade and they were attending a financial conference down there. They paraded me around to all their friends, spent time with me and made me feel so loved. Whenever I see hibiscus flowers, I think of them and that time we had together.
- What is your favorite inspiring love quote? Those who know me won’t be surprised to read it’s from a 10,000 Maniacs song and it’s titled, Eden. “We are the roses in the garden, beauty with thorns among our leaves. To pick a rose you ask your hands to bleed. What is the reason for having roses when your blood is shed carelessly? It must be for something more than vanity.” It’s my favorite quote about love because it’s acknowledges the fact that loving people can sometimes be hurtful; it’s not all hearts and kisses. It asks the question, why do we continue to love and trust people when we know we might get hurt, “bleed carelessly”. The answer is, for something more than lust or superficiality; it’s something deeper, more profound and meaningful.
- If you were to die tomorrow: what message do you hope to leave behind in this world? I think more so than any message I want to leave behind, for me, it’s more important to be present, now. Brandi Carlile has a great line where she asks, “Do I make myself a blessing to everyone I meet?” That sums it up beautifully. I endeavor to embrace every situation with kindness and the way for me to do it is to maintain a strong presence of mind. Thinking too much about the past or the future; that’s when I stray from my best self and as a result, can’t be of service to others. Some days are easier than others, but it starts with you. If you can learn to forgive yourself for everything that came before this very moment, then you can move forward without guilt or judgment. This leaves you without anxiety, stress, fear or whatever, and simply the knowledge to do better next time. If I can walk away from every encounter—however treacherous, scary, or intimating—knowing I approached it from a calm, kind place, then I could die tomorrow without regret. And maybe, others will be inspired to do the same.
Go show her some love HERE and remember to check back THIS MONDAY (June 15th) for a big Promote Love giveaway happening on Instagram and the launch of a brand new limited edition product!
PROMOTE LOVE // REBECCA DOLBER
PROMOTE LOVE // REBECCA DOLBER